Fiction Land Drabbles
by ObscureEnough
Summary: A series of unconnected drabbles written for a challenge. Most are for Buffy, but there are a couple of others.
1. Bad Idea

Don't own or claim rights to Angel

**Bad Idea**

**Fandom(s):** Angel

**Character(s):** Angel and Cordelia

**Rating:** PG

"What's wrong with you?" Cordelia demanded.

Angel gazed at her with slightly horrified eyes. "What do you mean?" he _did not_ whimper.

Cordelia narrowed her eyes at him. "You're hiding something. You suck at hiding things; you get this weird, 'I'm not hiding anything' look in your eyes, and you try to avoid me. What. Is. It?"

"It's, uh, it's nothing," Angel tried. "Really, it's nothing. It's just a little thing, really little."

"Bullshit," Cordelia sneered. "Tell!"

Angel caved. "I might have agreed to let Buffy and Willow stay with you for a week."

The hotel echoed with the scream of a furiously enraged woman.


	2. Choices

Don't own or claim rights to Buffy or Anita Blake

**Fandom(s):** Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter

**Character(s):** Xander and Jean-Claude

**Rating:** PG

Hmm… Submit to the Master of the City, or find a new place to live. Not much choice. Especially since, wherever he went, the local Master was going to want him to submit. Such was the wonder of being marked the way he was. Honestly, get thrown through one dimensional portal, and everyone wants a piece of you. Especially since he'd lived on the Hellmouth all his life, and had been 'touched by' power. Stupid Hellmouth.

At least Jean-Claude wasn't too bad as vamps go. Sure he was a vampire, which was bad, but he'd survive. Better the devil you know, and all that.


	3. Clumsy

Don't own or claim rights to SG1

**Fandom(s):** Stargate SG1

**Character(s):** Jack and Sam

**Rating:** PG

Jack looked at Sam worriedly. Her nostrils really flared when she was angry he noticed. And she was looking especially angry right at the moment.

"What. Did. You. Do?" Sam hissed.

"Nothing!" Jack protested. "I swear, I did not touch a thing." He eyed her as she glared at him. "Okay, I maybe bumped something," he confessed finally. "Like that do-hickey thing that's sitting on your desk. Or was, anyway."

Sam closed her eyes, breathed deeply, and began listing the elements in the periodic table.

"And I'll just go now," Jack went on. "You know, let you … tidy up."

Sam nodded, and sighed. She loved him, but…


	4. Coming Home

Don't own or claim rights to Buffy the Vampire Slayer

**Fandom(s):** Buffy the Vampire Slayer

**Character(s):** Xander and Willow

**Rating:** PG

"I'm coming back."

And, just like that, the world righted itself. All the wrongness that had permeated his life suddenly abated, leaving him smiling again. His best friend was on her way back into his life, hopefully healed of the massive trauma that had mauled her heart. Sure, losing the love of your life wasn't something you got over quickly, but hopefully it had gotten to the point where she could see the point of going on, of being back in their lives on a more permanent basis.

He had to make a 'Welcome Home' banner.


	5. Haute Cuisine

Don't own or claim rights to Buffy the Vampire Slayer

**Fandom(s):** Buffy the Vampire Slayer

**Character(s):** Xander, Buffy and Dawn.

**Rating:** PG

"I did nothing!" he protested. "I just might have _said_ something. Which is not doing," he added conscientiously.

Buffy glared at Xander. "Potato, po-tah-to," she ground out. "So what did you _say?_"

"Uh… That there was no way on God's green earth, let alone the Hellmouth, that I was eating any of that?" Xander tried, pointing to the multi-coloured mess on Dawn's plate.

Buffy eyed the concoction. From this distance, she could see baby peas, something that was tofu or fetta, she wasn't sure, and … dear God, was that gummi bears? She blinked. "Er, right. Well… Sorry, Dawn, but he's right."

Dawn huffed. So not fair!


	6. Hiding Place

Don't own or claim rights to Buffy the Vampire Slayer

**Fandom(s):** Buffy the Vampire Slayer

**Character(s):** Buffy and Giles

**Rating:** PG

"Ah," Giles murmured as he pushed Buffy into a random story, "the perfect place to hide."

"Why?" Buffy demanded, as she tried to see who was following them.

"Because this is a book shop," Giles answered simply.

Buffy stopped, looked around, then turned to her Watcher and rolled her eyes. "It's called 'A Life,' Giles. Look it up, you need to get one."

"I have a life, Buffy," Giles returned easily. "It's full of adventure, troublesome teens, and the occasional book shop. I find the last generally makes up for the middle."

Buffy narrowed her eyes. "You have been spending too much time with Xander, haven't you?"


	7. Hyenas

Don't own or claim rights to Buffy the Vampire Slayer

**Fandom(s):** Buffy the Vampire Slayer

**Character(s):** Scoobies

**Rating:** PG

Two equally surprised faced stared at her over the sofa, with identically sheepish grins on their faces. She narrowed her eyes, and set her hands on her hips, a look she knew from experience that her mother had occasionally (not that often, honestly) sported in her presence.

Unfortunately, though, she didn't have her mother's presence, as the redhead and the brunet simply exchanged glances, and started giggling. She ratcheted her glare up a notch, but they only ducked down, trying to muffle their giggles. Finally, she huffed, and stalked away, leaving the hyenas in human form to tidy up after their popcorn fight. At least, they'd _better_ tidy up.


	8. Matchmaker

Don't own or claim rights to Firefly.

**Fandom(s):** Firefly

**Character(s):** River

**Rating:** PG

She really didn't know what she was going to do with her brother. He was such a worry-wart, despite the fact that she was sure he had no dermal abnormalities. If only he would only take the next logical and socially acceptable step in the so-far inadequate relationship with the mechanic. While she did not have a form of intelligence equal to his, there were few who did. Moreover, she had a form of intelligence that could complement his, leading to a whole new unit. Hopefully it wouldn't take a life-threatening situation to get him to make his feelings known, because those were hard to manipulate.

Boys were so silly.


	9. My Bad

Don't own or claim rights to Buffy the Vampire Slayer

**Fandom(s):** Buffy the Vampire Slayer

**Character(s):** Buffy and Giles

**Rating:** PG

She gazed at him, wide-eyed; she'd never seen him like this before. He was freaking out. Her Watcher, her staunch support in times of trial, yadda yadda, was freaking out. And it wasn't even anything terribly major. There were no prophecies at stake, certainly no Ascensions or apocalypses … apocalypsi … whatevers imminent; nope, just an ordinary day. Certainly nothing to have a melt-down about.

"God, Giles, it's just a bit of ketchup! You are such a baby," Buffy sniffed.

Giles glared at her. "This is tweed. That means it's wool, and requires special cleaning products and methods."

Buffy looked at her hotdog guiltily. "Oops."


	10. Needs

Don't own or claim rights to Glee, Buffy, Anita Blake, Snow White, Angel, Stargate SG1 or Firefly.

**Fandom(s):** Glee

**Character(s):** Rachel

**Rating:** PG

There were not many things Rachel needed in her life; she needed her fathers, that was for sure. But she needed Elphaba Thropp. _Wicked's_ defining song was perhaps one of the most amazing pieces in her repertoire, and she _needed_ to do this. How could he do this to her? He was a male, and this was definitely a woman's piece; besides, there was no way he could ever manage the range. Not that she was sexist, or racist, or anything like that. Nor was she worried (not at _all_) that he might _just_ get that note. It's just that this was _her_ piece. How could he?


	11. Nightmare?

Don't own or claim rights to Buffy or Snow White

**Fandom(s):** Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Snow White

**Character(s):** Buffy and Snow White

**Rating:** PG

It really wasn't fair. She hadn't asked to be dropped anywhere, let alone _here_. Yet here she was, complete with dwarves (or is that 'little people') semi-sentient animals, and a vapid female with anime eyes who was caterwauling (see, Giles – she knew words) about her prince coming.

She was going to have to make a break for it. She couldn't stay here; if she did, she was going to lose what precious few brain cells that remained. Although… the dwarves (little people?) did seem to have access to an awful lot of shiny things they'd dug out of the ground. Maybe she could stick around for a bit longer…


	12. Not Fair

Don't own or claim rights to Buffy the Vampire Slayer

**Fandom(s):** Buffy the Vampire Slayer

**Character(s):** Xander and Willow

**Rating:** PG

It wasn't fair. He really was enjoying this far too much. This much enjoyment should be against all laws of God and man, and that's all he had to say about it. And people who had no magical and/or mystical powers _whatsoever_ really shouldn't annoy (piss off) powerful witches who could squish him flat, or at least turn his hair interesting colours when he was about to go on a date. After all, it wasn't her fault this particular demon was way more interested in her than the usual targets (Xander) or really cute, in a horns and teal-and-purple skin sort of way. So very not fair.


	13. Nothing

Don't own or claim rights to Buffy the Vampire Slayer

**Fandom(s):** Buffy the Vampire Slayer

**Character(s):** Willow

**Rating:** PG

You couldn't even begin to fathom who I really am. I am power, I am death. I am darkness embodied, the avatar of hell, and I will bring consumption on this land. I am retribution on this world for destroying the only thing beautiful and pure, or at least for permitting her destruction. Osiris wouldn't bring her back, so there is nothing left to redeem this world. Therefore, all will know my pain, and all pain will end at hand of the Sister of the Dark. Nothing will stop me, nothing _can_ stop me.

Love, after all, is nothing, is it not?


	14. Origin of the Demon Magnet

Don't own or claim rights to Buffy the Vampire Slayer

**Fandom(s):** Buffy the Vampire Slayer

**Character(s):** Xander and Cordelia

**Rating:** PG

She is vicious, sharp, and absolutely lethal. She can do more harm with her words than Buffy can do with her fists. It's part of her charm. They all wonder why I like her, why (more to the point) she likes me. I think it's because we're both good at the whole evil words thing. For as long as I can remember, we've hacked at each other with the things we say, and we've only gotten better at it. To be honest, I've grown to like it, and Cordelia's pretty much the only one who can keep up with me; does that make me sick?


	15. Pas de Deux

Don't own or claim rights to Buffy the Vampire Slayer

**Fandom(s):** Buffy the Vampire Slayer

**Character(s):** Spike and Nikki Wood

**Rating:** PG

He was a predator, a killing machine. He stalked his prey, the humans, but they usually didn't give quite so much of a fight. But then again, so very few of them were killers like him. And this one was a dark goddess, beautiful death, from the curls on her head, to her shit-kicker boots, with a definite side trip for that duster she was wearing. At least he knew what his trophy was going to be.

She was perfect that way. Prima ballerina of the killing dance, and that was as poetic as he got these days.

Time pull down the curtain.


	16. War Games

Don't own or claim rights to Buffy the Vampire Slayer

**Fandom(s):** Buffy the Vampire Slayer

**Character(s):** Scoobies

**Rating:** PG

The front room was a mess. Potentials were lying around, sprawled all over any available surface, with splotches marking them in different places. The Scoobies stood, a little guiltily, in the midst of the insanity.

"Then why are you surrounded by bodies?" Buffy asked carefully.

"Because, um," Xander looked around at the assorted 'bodies', but gave up.

"Oh, war games!" Willow bounced. "We were teaching the SITs how to survive in, in a," she trailed off.

"In a large-scale battle," Dawn offered chirpily. "You know, against, like, a whole mob of vampires."

Buffy stared at them. She blinked. Wordlessly, she turned and left the room. Just. Not. Worth it.


	17. You're Doing What Now?

Don't own or claim rights to Buffy the Vampire Slayer

**Fandom(s):** Buffy the Vampire Slayer

**Character(s):** Xander and Spike

**Rating:** PG

"I bet you won't enjoy yourself," he sniffed. "After all, it's not like there's going to be any comics or such like there."

Xander scoffed. "Duh. It's an architectural conference."

Spike gaped at the other man. "Okay," he began cautiously, "let me get this straight. You're going to Las Vegas – for the week, mind – to hear people yammer on about … architecture?"

"Yep," Xander nodded firmly. "It's my reward for a job well done. There will be stalls on new finishes, new contractors to talk to; it'll be great."

"Architecture," Spike tried again. "For the whole week."

"Yep," Xander nodded again, popping the 'p'.

"Daft," the vampire muttered. "Utterly daft."


End file.
